Friday, May 20, 2011

Weekend Reads: The Left Behind edition

This week brought out a whole lot of crazy, and while I, personally am not planning on going anywhere (as I don't believe the end of times bus is making a stop), some do...which provides near endless fodder. And fodder there was- from zombies to left-behind looting, to non-believer pet sitting volunteerism and epic playlists (see: this post by my friend Jackie, a foul mouthed, educated, daughter of a believer - you've been warned).  I have to say though, I'm pretty sure my twitter followers and friends will be glad to have the apocalypse over and done with so they can get a reprieve from my banter. If, somehow I was wrong though at least I went out laughing - because I laughed a LOT this week.

Unrelated to the rapture there were also other discoveries and "breakthroughs".

It's now legal to catch catfish with your bare hands in Texas...which seems like an excellent choice of recreational activity if your school books aren't educating you and you've grown bored of attending classes. Also, a superb use of tax money, as removing all the textbooks from libraries has rendered them irrelevant and therefore needing less capital. It also seems like a really fun, new-old way to lose a finger. Forget carpentry, this way you get a meal out of your appendage losses.

Noodle it over with some images and videos...then have a fish fry. Nothing like another fabulous disservice to the reputation of southerners. Sarcastic yay.

The World Beard and Mustache Championships were last got pretty hairy in there (pun and subsequent groan intended). Fact: More than 600 pounds of beard wax was used during the competition. Fact: The aforementioned use of the word fact was a fallacy, but it could happen...Actual fact: It was held in Amish Country. I can't even make this stuff up anymore. I give up.

Now might be a good time to plug the etched mustache pint glasses I made my husband for Christmahanakwanzikah...that are an excellent idea for Father's Day...

I'm still saddened that the Fu Manchu winners came from nowhere close to any Asian state, province, or country but I'll go cry in my hubby's underwiskered Garibaldi full beard about it later. Luckily the Lumberjack World Championships haven't occurred yet this year, so there is still something to look forward to...

More images of excellence in facial manscaping to be found here and here.

Lest you think humanity is perched on the precipice of the downward slide with no handrails I give you the "romance isn't dead it just isn't your boyfriend/spouse/life partner/J-date" links...

Like the movie preview marriage proposal.

Or the written in sand, washed away to the sea but you'll be mine forever proposal.

Ok, actually that's all I've got...marriage proposals. Which is sort of sad because to be perfectly honest I think being married rocks, it just isn't epic huge, show the world with glitter every single day. Maybe next week though. I'll tape my husband doing dishes, you'll see, movie proposals are so "Gone in 60 Seconds", but spot-free glassware is for-ev-er.

Finally, Jamie Oliver and I share a birth week, which is a further testament to how awesome Jamie Oliver is. Sadly though, we are both very well adjusted - mostly because Ruth Bourdain isn't our birth mother. Shame really. A good amount of crazy makes for such excellent writing/resources/therapy bills. That's ok, she/he is still a winner.

And so are you. Winner, Winner, tofurky dinner - all of you.

Have a great weekend - laugh heartily on the way to the pearly gates, pearly whites are a great admission ticket. Speaking of which, I have a dentists appointment tomorrow. I'm first in line St. Peter!


1000+1 said...

you are too funny!!! :)

1000+1 said...

…oh almost forgot, Happy Birthday to you and JO and to me :)

Elizabeth said...

End of the world, mustache glasses and a birthday--what a week! Hope your birthday is a happy one and that the year ahead is wonderful.

Anonymous said...

Fascinated by the whole noodling thing; love to see weirdo things like that on tv! Have a great birthday!